Got To Do It
Female Orgasm
Genesis 19:24 Then the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven;
19:25 and he overthrew [the homoperverts within] those cities, and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.
19:26 But Lot's wife [running away from those Twin Cities] behind [her husband Lot] looked back [toward the Twin Cities], and she became a pillar of [brand-label-picture-of bare-legged-&-mopheaded-girl-spilling-salt-as-she-walks-along Morton's] salt.
19:27 And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the LORD;
19:28 and he looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah and toward all the land of the valley, and beheld, and wow, the smoke of the land went up like the smoke of a furnace.
19:29 So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in which Lot lived.
19:30 Now Lot went up out of Zoar, and lived in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to reside in Zoar; so he lived in a cave with his two daughters.
19:31 And the first-born said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth.
19:32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring through our father."
19:33 So they made their father drink wine that night; and the first-born went in, and lay with her father; he did not know when she lay down or when she got up.
19:34 And on the next day, the first-born said to the younger, "Hey, I laid last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lay with him, that we may preserve offspring through our father."
19:35 So they made their father drink wine that night also; and the younger got up, and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she got up.
19:36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.
19:37 The first-born bore a son, and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.
19:38 The younger also bore a son, and called his name Benammi; he is the father of the Ammonites to this day.
KAREN: Kathy, I don't know about you, but I seriously need sex and to obey God's Primal Directive to "Multiply!" And the thought of sodomizing myself with this big carrot as an overly-abrasive inflexible dildo would not do much to get myself pregnant, and I sure ain't The Virgin Mary, whoever she is going to be someday in the far distant future.
KATHY: I know how you feel. I've been thinking the same thing. Even this cucumber dildo wouldn't do the trick. What the heck can we do about it?
KAREN: Well, we really couldn't run away to Zoar and try to get either prostituting or courting with some guys down there, because it's too far away, and we don't know if there are any worthy and willing Christian single, or even non-antisemitic already-married Jewish men in Zoar to convince to marry us and let us claim them as our husbands with us overtly or instead quietly and discreetly declaring ourselves their extra wife or additional-spouse concubine.
KATHY: Not only that, but Daddy would wonder where we went, and go nuts worrying about us.
KAREN: And we couldn't tell him our plan to escape, or ask him, because he would probably would say no. And he needs all the help he can get cleaning up around here, being that this lack of indoor plumbing really irritates me. Not even a public restroom with running water up around here.
KATHY: Hey, I got an idea, but it's kind of naughty.
KAREN: Let's hear it. And as you tell me, you'd better throw another log on the fire, so that it doesn't go out.
KATHY: Well, he is a man, isn't he? And he lost his wife who became that ridiculous pillar of salt out there in the desert, so by now he probably is desperately more than ready to genitalize with just about anyone.
KAREN: Keep on, I guess.
KATHY: Well, remember how it has been recorded in Genesis 9:23 that Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders, walking backward to cover the nakedness of their dad Noah who was drunk, so that they did not see their father's nakedness?
KAREN: Yeah I do. So?
KATHY: It gets better. The Torah Law of Moses has not been given yet, which will forbid one from uncovering the nakedness of one's father, which command will eventually be written in Leviticus 18:7.
KAREN: I think I'm beginning to see where you're going with this.
KATHY: It does sound kind of kinky, but we are both incredibly desperate as to erotically starving. But how are we going to convince Daddy to pretend that either one of us are his new or replacement Mommy who he can genitalize with? He might consider the whole thing rather gross himself.
KAREN: Well, he might not recognize us in the dark if we changed our voice and, as wordlessly as possible, pretended to be strange women he could screw with - if he was stone drunk?
KATHY: Can't get him so drunk that he passes out. He got to be aware enough to get erect and ejaculate. How much wine did we bring up from the Gae Faery in Sodom?
KAREN: We got a whole case of Manischewitz and a whole case of Mogen David in the back of the cave. Both kosher.
KATHY: Our entire supply. This plan had better work, because if it doesn't, were all going to thirst to death.
KAREN: Will he ever be mad when he discovers that most of his liquor supply is gone! He sure will ask us about it. And let's say that either or both of us, by some slim chance, just happens get pregnant as one-timers with him. How will be explain our expanding tummies to him? We'll have to eventually leave this cave for bigger digs with a new growing family to feed and exercise.
KATHY: How should we do it? Double up on him, as two at once? Or shall we screw him one at a time?
KAREN: Let's do it one at a time. He has to recuperate. Two of us together on him might be too surprising or even shocking even when he gets really drunk.
KATHY: Sounds like a plan. You go first.
KAREN: Hey Daddy! All our chores are done, it's your wedding anniversary, so let's drink a toast to Mommy who disobediently deprived herself from you.
LOT: Sounds OK to me.
KAREN: Let's really splurge tonight. We haven't ever done this. Let's rejoice in the Lord for saving us from being smoldered in Sodom. Have a refill.
LOT: Pour it in, Karen.
KAREN: Have another.
LOT: Do it.
[Next morning:]
LOT: Man, what happened last night? Wow, what a hangover I have! And what a dream I dreamt! There I was, peacefully resting on my bed in the house there on Main Street in Sodom, when some young woman walked right into my bedroom and asked me, point blank, to take her as my concubine, and right after I quickly agreed, she promptly removed took off all her clothes, hopped on top of me, and starting riding me like some rhythmically-gymnastic rodeo cowgirl. Wild!
KAREN: Some dream, Daddy.
[Later on, when Karen and Kathy were alone together:]
KAREN: Darn, that was fun last night! I didn't know that Daddy could screw so well! Wow! Well, Kathy, he's yours tonight, if you can get him drunk enough again.
KATHY: I'll do my best.
KAREN: I'm sure you will.
KATHY: Hey Daddy, you celebrated with Karen last night. How about having a few drinks with me?
LOT: I wouldn't want to leave you out. Let's you and me celebrate.